(6)
What we said about it. It's not much bother really, is it? When you think about it- 'cause
I"m sure Dot and Lil and Benny, Tommy, Jocky etc can understand something as simple as us wanting to be alone for a day- I
don't mean Julian tho'- I mean don't pack him off to Dot's or anywhere- I really miss him as a person now- do you know what
I mean, he's not so much 'The Baby' or 'my baby' anymore he's a real living part of me now you know he's Julian and everything
and I can't wait to see him, I miss him more than I've ever done before- I think it's been a slow process my feeling like
a real father! I hope all this is clear and understandable. I spend hours in dressing rooms and things thinking about
the times I've wasted not being with him- and playing with him- you know I keep thinking of those stupid bastard times
when I keep reading bloody newspapers and other sh*t whilst he's in the room with me and I've decided it's ALL WRONG!
He doesn't see enough of me as it is and I really want him to
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know and love me, and miss me like I seem to be missing both of you so much.
I'll go know 'cause I'm bringing myself down thinking what a thoughtless bastard I seem to
be- and it's only sort of three o'clock in the afternoon and it seems the wrong time of day to feel so emotional. I really
feel like crying- it's stupid- and I'm choking up now as I'm writing- I don't know what's the matter with me. It's not the
tour that's so different from other tours- I mean I'm having lots of laughs (you know the type hee! hee!) but in between the
laughs there is such a drop- I mean there seems no in-between feelings.
Anyway I'm going now so that this letter doesn't get to draggy.
I love you very much
To Cyn
From John
xxxxxxx
xxxxxxx
xxxxxxx
P.S. Say hello to Charles, etc. for me
P.P.S. I think you can ring me if you have a phone there try- if not I'll see you in about
a week 271-6565 Los Angeles, California
P.P.S. It's Monday the 23rd today and I leave this house next Monday the 30th of August- so
try to phone.
