Home | Updates | Heather | Julian | Kyoko | Zak | Jason | Francesca | Mary | Lee | Stella | Gianni | Sean | James | Dhani | Arlen | Beatrice

John's Letter

On August 23, 1965, while on an American tour with the Beatles, John wrote a 7 page letter to his wife Cynthia about Julian who was two years old at the time. In 1985, two pages from the letter were published in Lennon: The Definitive Biography by Ray Coleman. The letter was sold in August of 1991, Christie's Auction House hosting the 'Cynthia Lennon Collection' in London. Some time later, this letter was put on auction again and this time, Paul bought it to which he had framed and presented to Julian as a gift. In 2005, part of the letter was published in Cynthia's autobiography, John.

What we said about it. It's not much bother really, is it? When you think about it- 'cause I"m sure Dot and Lil and Benny, Tommy, Jocky etc can understand something as simple as us wanting to be alone for a day- I don't mean Julian tho'- I mean don't pack him off to Dot's or anywhere- I really miss him as a person now- do you know what I mean, he's not so much 'The Baby' or 'my baby' anymore he's a real living part of me now you know he's Julian and everything and I can't wait to see him, I miss him more than I've ever done before- I think it's been a slow process my feeling like a real father! I hope all this is clear and understandable. I spend hours in dressing rooms and things thinking about the times I've wasted not being with him- and playing with him- you know I keep thinking of those stupid bastard times when I keep reading bloody newspapers and other sh*t whilst he's in the room with me and I've decided it's ALL WRONG! He doesn't see enough of me as it is and I really want him to
know and love me, and miss me like I seem to be missing both of you so much.
I'll go know 'cause I'm bringing myself down thinking what a thoughtless bastard I seem to be- and it's only sort of three o'clock in the afternoon and it seems the wrong time of day to feel so emotional. I really feel like crying- it's stupid- and I'm choking up now as I'm writing- I don't know what's the matter with me. It's not the tour that's so different from other tours- I mean I'm having lots of laughs (you know the type hee! hee!) but in between the laughs there is such a drop- I mean there seems no in-between feelings.
Anyway I'm going now so that this letter doesn't get to draggy.
I love you very much
To Cyn
From John
P.S. Say hello to Charles, etc. for me
P.P.S. I think you can ring me if you have a phone there try- if not I'll see you in about a week 271-6565 Los Angeles, California
P.P.S. It's Monday the 23rd today and I leave this house next Monday the 30th of August- so try to phone.

Pages 1-5 are missing, whereabouts are unknown
Dot was Dorothy Jarlett, the Lennons' housekeeper 1964-1968
Lil was Lillian Powell, Cynthia's mother
Charles was Charles Powell, Cynthia's brother
other names (Benny, Tommy, Jocky) are friends and occasional staff